Beowulf - in 2D

Debbie and I had a busy weekend which included seeing the CG Beowulf movie on the big screen. Sadly we were about twenty minutes late for the 3D version - which is to say we arrived just as the slides would have been starting, but the queue was at least twenty minutes long. We decided to see it in 2D rather than wait around for a later session. I enjoyed watching it, although I was a littler nervous after the first couple of minutes, as the ratio of gimmicky shots that would look good in 3D to normal visual story-telling was not one which favoured the regular type cinema. It did calm down after that, and while there were a lot of shots which went on longer than they might otherwise have done to allow for cool 3D bits, and some obvious 3D-friendly shots, it was quite a watchable film in 2D. There was fighting, bragging, sleaze-which-failed-to-titilate, a cool dragon, and Angelina Jolie as an unconvincing CG barbie doll. There were odd changes to the storyline and characters, some with no pay-off. There were spiky things pointing straight out at the audience, presumably looking cool in 3D. Without going into detail, I'd say it was an enjoyable film, and if you don't know too much about the story of Beowulf you'll probably be happy to sit throught it, though there are a few moments where you might justifiably mutter *wtf!?!*, as characters make inexplicable decisions or villains act randomly. One of the oddest things was that the biggest changes looked like they had been made to give the story a theme or moral that modern audiences could connect with, but then the film failed to deliver any coherent pay-off to those changes. I wonder if bits were cut out?

Didn't choke

I just finished bowling with my form class (about half of them). High pressure situation, could have gone disastrously wrong! I'd told them that I like bowling, and that I usually bowl over 100 (though not always). Score = 147 Not my highest ever score for ten pin bowling, but up there in my top 10. I got three strikes and two spares, I think. I will make sure I tell my colleague about my score - he's taking his class on Tuesday, and it's nice to put a bit of pressure* on him :-) *I really hope 147 isn't too far below his average game - that could be an embarrassing challenge

New Curriculum: The Treaty of Waitangi

It was an interesting process to critique the draft NZ Curriculum last year with my department, and write some feedback on it. We were somewhat cynical about the extent to which the draft was really open to negotiation, but we proceeded anyway in good faith. A colleague of mine reports that she is pleasantly surprised at how many changes were made between draft and final version, and how many of our concerns were addressed. I can't say that I've studied the new curriculum in enough detail to know, but there was one hugely obvious change which was nice to see. The draft did not once mention the Treaty of Waitangi. It was entirely omitted from the document. There was a single sentence about NZ's bicultural heritage and multicultural society, and that was it. The new curriculum not only mentions the treaty, it places quite a lot of emphasis on it in the Purpose and Scope section (at the start of the curriculum document):

"...give effect to the partnership that is at the core of our nation's founding document, Te Tiriri o Waitangi / the Treaty of Waitangi."

The section on Principles has also been modified. The draft had the following areas as the foundations of curriculum decision making:

Excellence, Learning to Learn, Cultural Heritage, Equity, Connections, Coherence

This was where the reference to NZ's makeup came in:

Cultural Heritage All students experience a curriculum that reflects New Zealand’s bicultural heritage and its multicultural society. Students who identify as Màori have the opportunity to experience a curriculum that reflects and values te ao Màori.

The final document has slightly different principles:

High Expectations (replaces Excellence, but still talks about personal excellence in the explanation), Learning to Learn, Treaty of Waitangi, Community Engagement, Cultural Diversity, Coherence, Inclusion, Future Focus.

It's been really interesting to be part of the criticism, and see the changes in the final document. It's quite a difference, separating the Treaty and Multiculturalism, rather than lumping them together under Cultural Heritage. I'm not convinced that I wouldn't have had a knee-jerk reaction to such a change when I was a racist teenager, but as a (somewhat) more grown up individual, I am now very pleased that one of the things that makes NZ special, part of our unique character of having a founding document that recognises the importance of indigenous culture, is recognised in the document which underpins our education system.

New Curriculum PD

3.30pm - 5pm yesterday:

Where's all the sucking?

For some reason I was expecting Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer to be bad. I wasn't overly impressed with the first movie - actually, I thought it was pretty weak overall. The trailer for Silver Surfer looked pretty cool, but you really can't judge a film by its trailer. Maybe I saw some bad reviews? Or maybe the terrible, mind-shattering banality of Ghost Rider had tainted my view of this season's superhero outings. Whatever the case, we watched the DVD this weekend, and I was very, very impressed. I actually really enjoyed the film on pretty much every level, and would rate it as one the better films of its genre, despite not being a huge Fantastic Four fan (though I do quite like the Silver Surfer). It had a good amount of intra-four drama, use of powers for silly and heroic things, epic scale end-of-the-world special effects, and a well done surfer. All in all, I thought it was a really good comic-book-on-screen film. And I thought it was going to suck...

Bumbling along...

School is much less busy this week. I even had time to pop home for a few minutes to visit Debbie - a nice walk in the sun. There's still work to do, all sorts of little things that will keep me occupied, but the relentless churn of deadlines and classes has slowed down considerably. Not long to the holidays, too! I'd better go rehydrate, and prep for my one class of the day :-)

Why cats shouldn't organise baby gifts

 Generally I think the cat has adjusted well to my maternity leave. She doesn't appear to mind my continued presence at home on the whole. She is content to let me sleep in along side her in the mornings, she begs tidbits from my lunch and has the added amusement of parading in front of the computer screen or walking across the keyboard whenever I am on the computer. However, some of her recent behaviour is either a cunningly calculated attempt to chase me out of the house during the day or cats really have a different idea of how to be nice and caring to pregnant women. Firstly, there is her 'assistance' with household tasks. Any sign of making beds or folding laundry and the cat is there. She purrs contentedly as she dives under sheets and towels, and bats you 'playfully' with her claws. It's a rather savage approach to playing tag or peek a boo that has resulted in several rather painful scratches. What's more is that she always knows if you try to sneak off with sheets or towels. You think you've made it into the bedroom without the cat and then no sooner than you've started to unfold said piece of linen, claws appear either through the fabric or around the sides, and sink into your fleshy fingers in the manner of a knife-wielding maniac in some B-grade horror film. Secondly, she has taken to presenting me with dead rodents. She times it well. Waits until I'm distracted or relaxed and not in the least expecting it, sneaks up behind me and lets out a loud "RRRoawww" and drops the mutilated mouse corpse at my feet. She then trots off to eat her cat biscuits in the kitchen while I have to scoop up rodent remains and then dispose of them in the garden. I dread to think of what she'll come up with next. Actually, I should be suspicious and on guard. I've been at computer for some time now and she is nowhere to be seen...

It lives!

This evening during the news, I was very distracted by the visible movements of our son. He was wriggling and kicking, and his kicks could be seen quite clearly through Debbie's t-shirt. He has some powerful kicking muscles. In unrelated news, I have discovered that I quite like the Tommy cologne. Debbie had a bottle of cologne accidentally bought for her (she likes the girl version), and I gave it a try. It's quite a nice, fresh sort of a fragrance. Work is kuh-razy busy, what with the prizegivings and all. Will calm down a whole bunch after Friday, when the senior students go on study leave. I will only have 2 classes and 2 junior prizegivings to arrange, unlike the 4 ceremonies the seniors have...

You know you have too much time when...

 Well, I’m on week 4 or 5 of my maternity leave and so far I’ve been pretty busy. In fact this is the first week where I haven’t been back in at school for one thing or another (although I am going to a post-production meeting on Monday next week). On the whole I haven’t suffered too much from the ‘I’m bored when I’m not working’ syndrome that others have claimed to have felt. I’m actually OK with whirlwind days of reading, walks in the sunshine, preggie yoga routines, cleaning, laundry*, cooking, eating, making organised little spreadsheet inventories of baby items, all interspersed with a healthy dose of napping. It may not be exciting but it is preferable to work in many ways. However, too much domesticity and loss of the ability to intimidate teenagers seems to have unhinged my psyche somewhat. I have had a couple of experience that have been a little distressing and have made me regret my no-longer-teaching status. On two separate occasions this week I have been out at the shops innocently picking up supplies when I have spotted students blithely out during class time! Normally, when a teacher spies a wagging student, you have two options. One: chase them down and confront them. Two: watch with a smug sense of amusement as they run away or try lamely to hide, and you know you can just write it up when you return to school. However, the no-longer-a-teacher has only option one. On the first occasion, I boldly strolled up to a pair of truant youngsters and sternly asked them why they weren’t in school. Instead of making up an excuse or having the decency to look a little nervous, they smiled and started gushing at me in a disconcertingly friendly manner. Truant miscreant 1: Oh hi miss, how are you? (Squeal) Oh, you must be going to have the baby soon. Truant miscreant 2: (Gabbling excitedly) Oh, so exciting. What are you going to name him? Me: (Sternly) Shouldn’t you both be in class now? Exams are coming up soon. Truant miscreant 1: (Offhandedly) Oh, we’ve only got Tourism. Will you come and see us with the baby? Truant miscreant 2: Will you text us when you’ve had him? Chilling stuff. Former students not even remotely trying to hide their wicked wagging and worse they attempted to give me their cell phone numbers so they could come and see the baby! This was even more frightening when on the previous week I had been in at school and the worst-behaved kid in my Year 10 English class came running up to me excitedly. Trouble-making lad: Hi Miss. Are you going to come in and see us? Me: No, I’m only here for a rehearsal. Trouble-making lad: You should come and see us… My sister had a baby last year. She had to have steroids. Me: Uh, OK. Trouble-making lad: You should have your baby soon then you might get to have steroids…. Bye. (Runs off) The day before yesterday, I was at Pak’n’save, again during school hours, and another pair of senior truants became even more brazen in their friendliness. I was about to pull out of the car-park when two students jumped in front of my car smiling and waving manically. Rather than run them over, I was forced to wind the window down and have a conversation disturbingly similar to the one I had had with the previous pair of truant miscreants. It was pretty upsetting to realise that pregnant belly had in fact robbed me of all my former intimidating status. I was now nothing more than a source of curiosity to these overly clucky teens. Possibly it was this, as well as watching too much of The Shield, that led to today’s aggressive laundry-protecting plans. You see, on two of the last three days a bird has taken to pooping on my nice, clean washing as it dries on the line. The birds had taken out an otherwise clean towel on Tuesday and one of my T-shirts yesterday. Nothing fills the mind with unrelenting rage like discovering bird poo on your clean washing. I decided something had to be done. The cat and I were going to take out this dirty defecator. The influence of ‘The Shield’ was probably responsible for my first plan. Austen and I were to form a Strike team. We would knock down doors on every local crib, er nest I guess if you want to be technical, cuff and threaten the birds using a ridiculous number of expletives until one of them rolled on whichever avian was responsible, probably a starling called Dielle or Tyrone or similar. However, I realised that access to all the local nests was probably going to be difficult in my condition – it is not considered advisable to climb trees when you're 8 months pregnant. No, we would have to employ patience and go undercover. So I dressed in vaguely camouflaging green, grabbed the cat off the bed from her morning nap and headed out to the back garden to set up. I found a water-pistol, locked and loaded. Austen and I started waiting on a picnic blanket on the lawn with a full view of the washing line, baiting the bird with a fresh load of washing. It was a little dreary so I went inside to fetch a water-bottle and book to help pass the time as we waited to ambush the bird. I was confident that Austen, a fierce hunter, would be able to get the bird if it landed on the ground, but it was up to me to deal with any birds higher than ground level. I wondered about the range of the water pistol. What if the bird was using an aerial attack from a high distance on the washing? We had no way of dealing with a high-altitude bombardment of poo. Anyway, waiting for birds in the warm sun is a good way to put a cat to sleep. It also is quite effective at putting me to sleep. I woke up about an hour later and realised that neither I nor the cat had the mental fortitude to resist the sleep-inducing powers of the sun. However, our efforts were not entirely in vain as the washing was still there pristine and poo-free. We went inside to have a snack after our hard work. Maybe I’ll have to make a scarecrow to stick on top of the washing line. Neither Austen or myself are really up to this undercover business. * OK, laundry is my least favourite of all household duties. I think it is due to the stop-start nature. I like to do something and then have it finished. Laundry is high maintenance – it has to be sorted, stuck in the washing machine, washed, taken out, hung up to dry, ironed/folded and then put away. While none of these stages are particularly arduous or time-consuming, there are just too many of them. I eagerly await the design of some quasi-futuristic, self-cleaning silver jumpsuits that just require a wipe down every now and again to prevent stains.

Promoted again :-)

So, I applied for two promotions this year, and I didn't get either of them. One was HoD English, and the other was Assistant HoD English. I did, however, get a pay rise to the same level as Assistant HoD, and was given the title 'Associate HoD'. What does that mean? Well, it means that the school didn't want to have to choose between the top 3 candidates for a job, so they found a way to give the job to one person, but give recognition to the other 2 top applicants. Of course, the other 2 applicants (me and a friend of mine at school) are both taking on other non-English responsibilities (deaning and prizegiving), and may well have been eligible for the pay rises anyway, but it's nice that they've given us each a new title and told us very explicitly that they want us to be part of the management structure. I'm particularly happy that my responsibilities next year look like they'll be bigger without being overwhelming. Commensurate with the extra pay, most likely. Of course, teaching's not a career that is hugely highly paid anyway, and management roles are pretty tough and time-consuming, but I'm pretty positive about next year. And I'm thinking about making myself an 'Associate HoD' badge, to flash in department meetings when I say "Check the badge, buddy. I'm pullin' rank. You don't like it? Take it up with the HoD."

Weekend, how I love you!

Stressful week last week - lots of school deadlines, interview for 2IC English (on Friday afternoon, after lunch), moderation of speeches, and a show in the evening. Yikes! Now it is the weekend, just one more show to go, the back lawn has been attacked and subdued with a lawn-mower, and we're about to go out and get rid of a bunch of recyclables. I think we're also picking up some groceries while we're out, although time is ticking away and we may end up doing only a quick shop. Fascinating, huh? The show continues to be awesome, but crowds are smaller than was hoped. Of particular note to me was the total lack of kids from my school, despite my hard out pimpage of the show in daily notices, with posters, and through personally bugging a large number of my students. Hopefully all the kids who said they were coming (about 10 or so were for-sure keen) will show up tonight, with others in tow. It has lead to some speculation about what the best methods are for getting students motivated enough to come along to a show. Typical methods include: - have a big cast so the pool of friends and family is large (there are about 17 kids on stage in this show?) - contact local newspapers and radio stations - daily notices in school - posters - announcements/skits in assemblies - competitions to give away free tickets - have your show in the middle of the year when people aren't so tired It's very hard to know which of these scattergun methods is most effective.

Exhausticated

I am now taking a micro-break from marking a whole bunch of Year 13 work. The deadline for getting results onto the system for internally assessed work is fast looming (a week and a half or so away), and my Y13 class have decided to swamp me with all the work they didn't do earlier in the year. It's much the same as last year, something I was aware was coming, but it's still a hell of a shift in gears as their output more than trebles as their time draws to a close. The exhaustion is exacerbated by the play that is on at the moment, which I will be filming tonight (and tomorrow if there's a problem with tonight's run). The show is hilarious - I had to take my glasses off at one point to wipe away the tears of laughter. Of course, I felt a little self-conscious laughing so uproariously at what were, in some cases, my own jokes. But that's OK, just because I helped write it doesn't make it any less funny, and the performances have taken some of the material to levels of goodness beyond what I'd hoped for. The Te Reo teacher especially rocked the house in his guest role, though it was a close-run thing with some of the students as to who was the funniest.

Opening Halloween Night

 

Well, I've just returned from school where we had the first performance of this year's school production - The Wizard of Ozylvania. We had a 10am matinee for the local primary school kids. They seemed to enjoy it quite a lot so that is good. I feel far less nervous about tonight's show now. Only 2 slight technical hitches as well. Also comforting.

It's the second school production I've co-directed but the first I've co-written. (Matt and I wrote the play with a teacher from my school). Despite it being a reasonably short (about 1 1/4 hours plus intermission), 'fun' play rather than gripping serious drama, several aspects have been nerve-wrackingly stressful.

Firstly, we've gone with a minimalist set where all the backdrops are digital and projected onto the screen at the back of the stage. This automatically creates a degree of stress as it requires a laptop and a projector to function for the show. Anyone who has ever used a laptop and/or projector in a school will know that they are unfathomably unreliable beasties and love to break down at the worst possible moment*.

Secondly, there was the matter of the dance numbers in the show. I have, it is fairly safe to say, virtually no skills in choreography. Working out how to position dancers and use the stage once the dance is set is fine, but a dance number made up by myself is too ghastly a thing to comtemplate. So the basic choreography was assigned to students and we adults merely gave them a brief of what style and story things needed to happen, and then integrate the dances into the show.

Unfortunately, without wanting to disparage the good name of dancers everywhere as I am sure there are many dedicated and grounded dancers in the world, there were some flakiness issues. About half of the dance group pulled out of the show about a week before we were opening.

Not good. Apparently, some of them got confused about dates and didn't realise that they were in another show on the same week!

However, those dancers that remained on the show have been fantastic and have filled in the numerous gaps left by the ones who flaked off. Some of their costume/make-up changes are pretty tight as they now all have to do everything but it can't be helped really.

Anyway, it should all turn out to be fine. Fingers crossed and break a leg and all that other theatre superstition stuff.

So if you happen to find yourself in or around Kapiti at about 7pm over the next few days, pop in and see the show. So far it has earned such extravagant (or should I say dubious) praise as the following:

"It's funnier than Footloose." - Kid in the show
"You can tell teachers wrote it." - Another kid in the show
"My mum liked the script." - Yet another kid in the show
"You can tell they really enjoyed it... nobody asked to go to the toilet during the show." - Primary school teacher who accompanied the 150 youngsters

*Actually this is true for a lot of technology once it is in a school environment. I remember as a student how teachers always seemed incapable of setting up a TV to play a video to the class - somehow it always took a lot of fidgeting, sending someone off for a missing remote or something, and general chaos while the class became bored and restless. I used to think my teachers were just incredibly inept at using the TV, however, I have since discovered that a combination of rough treatment and messy storage of TV/projectors means that they are often in a dodgy condition just waiting to revenge themselves on an unsuspecting teacher for their shabby treatment by completely failing to work.

Wizard pf Ozylvania poster

 

Princess Consuela

The Village Simpleton

I've posted what may be my least intelligent post yet to gametime, Noteworthy: How and Why. It's pretty simple stuff, but I am of the opinion that it's worth posting often, even if not every post is a pearl of wisdom. I think on balance my contributions to gametime have been satisfactory :) I particularly liked last week's posts, with five posts taking different approaches to the same topic. It was really intersesting to see how people tackled the topic, as well as what they said within their varied approaches. It's something I'd be quite happy to do again, and it was nice to see a good number of comments from a variety of readers. I think there's much of merit in that - that different people will respond to different approaches to a topic. Variety, spicy life, it's all goods. Additionally, I now want to see 28 Weeks Later. A student gleefully informed me that a hovering helicopter is used to decapitate dozens of zombies in one scene. Sounds like fun :) If my first-ever co-written school play (Wizard of Oz with monsters and silly jokes) didn't start on Wednesday, I might even watch it for Halloween.

Moviefest Finals

Were today. They were differently bad to last years - more comically bad than annoyingly bad - but they still left Debbie and I (and Jenni and Lee) asking - What the hell? How hard is it to make an awards show focus on the awards, and put a little drama into it? Needless to say, we did not win - I'd have no time for complaining about the format if I was excitedly gloating about winning ;) Things that would have made the ceremony better: - showing clips from each film - reading out a list of who made the finals in each category - telling us who got 3rd and 2nd place in each category, even if there were no prizes for them - having a few extra 'spot prize' type awards for things that the prelim judges liked - shorter, or no guest speakers - positive feedback about what the judges liked about the winning films - our film winning There, a fully balanced and impartial list of advice, that I shall send with my warmest wishes to the well-meaning and hard-working organisers. I am sure they will thank me for it :) (Actually, I gave constructive feedback last year on how I thought the ceremony could be improved. My advice was not heeded.)

Debbie has blogged

An extended rant about the sexification of female villains: Bring back evil but not sexy females.

Bring back the evil but not sexy females!

 Few movies have excited my anticipation as much as the upcoming Beowulf. After studying Old English I became very attached to Anglo-Saxon poetry, none more so than Beowulf. Even when reduced to a mere plot summary, it is still a great epic tale of fighting monsters, dragons and great feats of heroism. It also contains some of the most beautiful imagery and descriptions as well as being a rollicking tale. However, what really made me fall in love with this poem is the large number of human reflections, jokes and observations that are completely easy to empathise with. It was at first, and still is, totally fascinating that something written over 1000 years ago can contain so many thoughts that are still relevant to us today. In many ways their lives back then were wildly different to ours yet I’ve always found the Anglo-Saxon perspective on life was astonishingly easy to relate to. I always found the classic Greek and Roman attitudes strange; interesting, but they had very different beliefs and values to my own. Similarly, when you read Norse sagas, the Viking view of life was quite hard to understand. Through their sagas, they come across as unbelievably macho and butch. Their faith in making it to Valhalla through brave and valiant acts meant that they were quite good humoured about death as long as it was in a fight of some kind. Some of the sagas have bizarre, action-heroesque dying words like “Oh I see broad-edged axes are fashionable in these parts” (said by the hero as the axe lands between his eyes).

The Anglo-Saxon perspective was a little different. While they believed in the afterlife, especially Christian poets like the Beowulf one, they valued life and did not chase death. Even though the poet is writing about the Geats and the Danes, he has them really not eager to kill or risk death unless it is necessary. This makes the fighting more noble, in my opinion, as it is not about the bloodthirsty love of the battle or self-seeking glory, but only taking up arms when you are protecting the people or way of life that you love. It’s Beowulf’s sense of duty and honour that leads him to help the Danes, not just that he is keen for a fight or overly confident that he can take on any kind of monster.

Now it is not a short poem, it’s about 3100 plus lines which means you take many months to translate and analyse it as a text. You tend to become quite protective and possessive over any text that you spend so much time poring over. Old English scholars become quite fierce when people attack or defile their beloved poems.

So years ago I first heard that there was a screenplay of Beowulf written by Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary, and I was pleased and excited. Naturally I had high expectations that it would be adapted as a dark, action-packed epic tale. Since first hearing of this screenplay, I have watched other film versions of Beowulf. First, there was ‘Beowulf: Unleash your dark side’ starring Christopher Lambert. Now, it actually wasn’t as bad as I expected. Of course it didn’t really touch on any of the themes of honour, glory or the concerns of old and sonless kings. The characters were thin and one-dimensional. The humour of the boasting in the mead-hall and the sense of fighting for something that really mattered were lost. It was just a dumb but not unwatchable action film.

There was just one thing that bugged me about it. Grendel’s mum. In the original text, she, like her son, is a monster. A hideous creature who is damned and cursed. A troll is probably the best word we have to describe both Grendel and his mother although it was not a term ever used in the poem. Grendel was a cursed fen-dweller, he was far bigger than a human and hated people. Now he is not unfeeling or unthinking, but he is described as an evil monster who is driven by hate. Grendel’s mother comes into the story after Grendel’s death. She is likewise described as cursed but lives in an underwater hall. She is driven to kill for revenge for her son’s death. Grendel’s mother is described as a ‘brimwylf’ (a she-wolf of the water), an ‘aewiht’ (a strange or alien being) and also a ‘grundwyrgen’ (an accursed female of the deep). There is also debate over the term ‘aglæc-wif’ that is used to describe her. Some critics believe it means ‘monster-woman’, others ‘hag-woman’ and some think it merely means ‘warrior-woman’.

I have not come across any evidence to suggest that this one troublesome word translates as ‘really hot chick’. That is what bugged me about the ‘Beowulf: Unleash you dark side’. When Grendel’s mum emerges to seek revenge, she is a scantily-clad blonde supermodel seductress*. She seeks out the soldiers, seduces them and them kills them.

What the….?

Why? In the original Grendel’s mother is far stronger than any human. She drags Beowulf down to the bottom of her lair and the swords in her armoury are so heavy that no normal man could even hold one, thus making Beowulf extra heroic when he grabs one and decapitates her with it.

Even ignoring the fact that she is far stronger than a human male and therefore would have no need to seduce them first to kill them, she is not actually made out to be a looker in the original text. Let’s just be clear about the original. There is no sexual tension between Beowulf and Grendel’s mother. She is just one of the three monsters he has to fight who happens to be a female.

OK, so maybe Hollywood figured audiences just weren’t really for a strong but ugly evil female in 1998, but what about later versions?

‘Beowulf and Grendel’ was released in 2005 (according to IMDB) but I only saw it last year. I had had reasonable hopes for this. From the trailer, it had a good look to it. Grendel appeared to be vaguely troll like. Also I had read that they were just focussing on the first battle, so I was unlikely to be irritated by a hot Grendel’s mama character. However, it was a terrible adaptation for several reasons. Beowulf as a character was unlikeable – angsty and indecisive. There is a tie for the worst and most fatal flaw of the film though. One is the addition of a pointlessly annoying anti-feminist character ‘Selma’ the witch. She has nothing to do with the original and seems to purely be there as a way to misrepresent the position of women in the society (cast out for being a witch and raped by all the local blokes whenever they felt like it), and as a love interest for Beowulf. The other thing they do is give the villain Grendel a backstory to make him sympathetic and explain why he wants to kill the Danes. OK, so the whole villain’s backstory thing worked out fine when Tim Burton did it for Batman villains but does every film of Good versus Evil really need exposition of why the villain is a baddie? Imagine if Peter Jackson had done that with Lord of the Rings. There is this whole 10 minute sequence when Sauron was a youngster and wanted to play with the elves but they laughed at him. Cut to slightly older and embittered Sauron forging the rings and the One Ring as his evil revenge on all of Middle Earth because the elves picked on him and he couldn’t get a girlfriend when he was younger.

The attempt to make Grendel more sympathetic was disastrous. It made Beowulf’s attack on him less noble as the people he was protecting weren’t very sympathetic. It led to a horrible angsty bout of indecision on Beowulf’s part at the end as it wasn’t clear what was the right thing to do. It also made the character of Grendel hard to understand. Were we meant to like him? He was still a brutal killer. Also there was a deplorable section of the story where they had Grendel rape the witch character (although she seemed not too bothered by the giant-troll rape) and then be all protective and caring over her afterwards? How exactly were they expecting the audience to respond to that?

Not good. After some pretty offensively bad adaptations of one of the greatest works in the history of English literature, I’ve been hoping for third time lucky with the Gaiman/Avary ‘Beowulf’ that is coming out this year. However, whilst at the cinema I spied a poster for it that make me fear for the worst. 

Oh no! Angelina Jolie is playing Grendel’s mother?!!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!! I checked out the website to be sure and yep, it wasn’t a mislabelled ‘Tomb Raider’ she is definitely playing the hideous troll Hollywood style – that is as a sexy and seductive villain.

Oh well, at least I’ll get to watch this despicable corruption of the character of Grendel’s mother into some hot chick get decapitated by Beowulf in an epic underwater battle? Maybe I’m being too optimistic. Maybe she will have steamy underwater sex with Beowulf and then they’ll run off together with the love of a good hero having made her realise the error of her ways a la Bond film villainess.

I guess Hollywood thinks we aren’t quite really for an evil but ugly woman yet.

* Played by Layla Roberts whose only other claim to fame seems to be having won the dubious honour of being Playboy Playmate of the Month October 1997

The best damn cops on the force

I've been watching The Shield and The Wire recently, shows about cops on the front line. So this onion article really caught my eye:

Despite their many infractions, precinct commander Thomas Henderson defended the officers as "the best damn men on the whole force." "I don't always necessarily agree with their cockeyed methods, but, I've got to admit, they get results," Henderson said. "And they save the department thousands in chair costs by sitting on the corners of their desks."

Article here.

Weekend!

3 days off is very, very nice. I plan to get some much needed sleep, mow the lawns, go to a Kapcon meeting, and generally chill out. It'll be nice to spend some time with Debbie, visit some good folks, and not have to teach 4 lessons and run a detention on Monday. Only one week and one day until Moviefest finals. I'm quite looking forward to seeing how we go. At the very least, we're on track to get 4th in the country for our category. I think after the finals we'll be able to post the movie on Youtube? I shall find out. I am quite happy with how it turned out, both from a script/performances point of view, and from a filming/editing/polish point of view. Polish (make shiny) and Polish (from Poland) always look funny to me. Neither seems quite right? Anyways, I vote for more 3 day weekends in the future. They really are quite civilised :)

Things on the internets

So I heard about some LolBlacks pics whilst at Jenni's partay, and was curious, so I googled. Then, slightly disturbed by the results, I googled All Blacks lolblacks, and found what I was actually looking for.

The internet being what it is, someone had already made lol-African American images (well, black people in general), some of which were a little tasteless, and getting worse as I scrolled down.

Anyways, the Lolblacks pics were cute.



And Debbie blogged! Is funny. Go read.

A Nation Mourns (again)

 Not long after suffering the devastating loss to the French in the World Cup quarter finals, New Zealand once again endures a mighty blow to its patriotic chest. We* were beaten. By the Irish. The media is, as expected, in a frenzy over this widely unexpected defeat**. It is not certain if our nation pride will recover from such a painful loss and the ramifications could be wide spread. After all a literature-loving nation such ourselves can hardly expect that we will be able to simply chalk it up to experience when we all had our hopes on Lloyd Jones bringing home the coveted Booker prize. In fact the global literary community was shock by today’s outcome. Even the Irish have admitted that they didn’t expect to win. As New Zealand literary commentator Kelsey Quinn observed, “Everyone knows we have the best authors in this country. That is part of what makes this defeat so hard to stomach. And frankly, I question the judges’ decision on this one. There was a blatant misuse of an apostrophe in the last chapter that for some reason they just didn’t pick up on.” Women’s Refuge has already reported an increase in domestic violence due to many New Zealand males lashing out at their partners and children due to their frustration at again missing out on winning this prestigious literary prize. Economists fear that the nation’s depression may also have a negative effect on our economy. At least fifty percent of the time when we have not won the Booker prize, the economy has gotten worse even when we have not even been nominated for the award. Lloyd Jones is expected to return home later this week. Talks are already afoot as to who is to blame for this national disaster and many speculate that publishers and editors jobs may be on the line as a result. It seems that the head of Penguin Books will probably be replaced by Christmas. For now we can only wait until we get our get chance at claiming the prize again and try to remind ourselves 'it's only a book'. *I use the inclusive first person pronoun because, as New Zealanders, I'm sure we all felt this painful blow to our nation's pride. ** At least a full 20 seconds on the midday news was devoted to the tragedy.

Cheese on Toast Rocks My World

Mmmm, after school snack made by loving shufu*. Takes away the sting of all-alt Tuesday (3 alternate classes). Of course, Wednesday has a lower percentage of alt classes solely because I teach 5 lessons, 3 alts + 2 mainstream. *shufu = housewife (usually of the golf-playing, shopping-as-a-hobby variety)

Windy morning

It was a windy night too. Not an easy morning to go out for a walk, but I managed somehow. For some odd reason the swaying of the large trees outside looked interesting to me: That's a shoulder-high fence behind the trees - it's pretty gusty here!

Teaching tomorrow's best and brightest...

This was on my whiteboard for a couple of days, as a sample poster for analysis:



Questions were:
What is the main idea of the poster?
Why is that idea important for people's health and well-being?
What's a visual technique used in the poster, and what effect did it create?
What's a verbal technique used, and what effect did it create?

That way madness lies...

Scenario: Emo Force Five Premise: Five Emo Animals take on the flaming snake conspiracy in a spiralling whirlwind of mountain action and midnight poetry. Bring your eyeliner, your fire extinguisher, and a very big gun. Starring: Obsidian Dark, Emo Goat Winter Black, Emo Duck Gloomy Murk, Emo Panther Sable Autumn, Emo Panda and guest starring Sunshine Sassy, 70's Jive Tiger - she's a fish out of water in a sea of angst!

Playtested

Yesterday I broke a long abstinence from RPGs by playing in Morgue's Fright Night playtest. It was a lot of fun, and really nice to be roleplaying with good folks on a blustery, thundery, lightning-y night. In the interests of preserving fright night players from spoilers, I have censored parts of my comments: Last night I played in Morgue's Fright Night game. The premise is basically that you're a group of *spoilers deleted* who have to investigate a *spoilers deleted* and try to *spoilers deleted*. It was a pretty creepy task, and got even creepier when *spoilers deleted*. It built to a terrifying conclusion when *spoilers deleted* the *spoilers deleted* and we had to go find the professor in the heart of the coastal caves and cut out his heart with a sacrificial dagger to stop the demon hordes breaking through the *spoilers deleted* gateway into our dimension and summoning dread Cthluhu to destroy the entire *spoilers deleted*.

Lolcat caption?

Any suggestions for a lolcat-esque caption for our pudgy-bellied tortoise-shell pussycat?

One minute you're down...

...the next you're right back up again. To balance out the yukky canine picture, here is a gratuitous picture of our feline:



Much cuter than my dislodged teeth.

Expensive, ineffective weight loss

Today I paid $120 to lose a tiny amount of weight - probably less than a gram? It was expensive, but it did have the bonus side effect of making my smile less broken-toothy.

I had the remnants of 2 baby teeth ripped out (under very effective anaesthetic). They were my baby canines, and it's quite a relief to be rid of them. I still have at least 2 baby teeth, but as they aren't broken I won't be removing them any time soon.

Shortly I will update with a photo of the teeth - I asked to keep them after the (rather swift) procedure.

Back from holiday, not done marking yet

So I still have exam marking to do. This is sad. On the plus side, despite being on maternity leave, Debbie is going to be in at school for most of the next two days, so I can do lots of boring marking but not have to miss out on quality Debbie time, since I have to miss out on Debbie time anyway. I will also do much tidying of the house and other exciting chores. In less domestic news, apparently I have the look of a metal fan. We were in Taihape on the way home, stopping for a drink, when the service station guy at Wild Bean asked me, "Do you listen to metal?" It was an unexpected question, but I answered yes. When he asked me where I was from, I said Hamilton as I was apparently having some kind of teenage metal-flashback, then explained that I was from Hamilton but lived in Kapiti now. "Have you listened to a band called Death?" he asked. I replied that I had, slightly confused as to where this conversation was going. I had already paid for our drinks but was now trapped in a slightly surreal dialogue. "I'm in a band called Soul Canciern (or something), if you see a poster for us playing in Wellington you should come check us out!" It all made sense (sort of). He was trapped in Taihape, and was in a death metal band. Local supporters were probably thin on the ground, so he was building up a network of support by talking to any beardy long-haired guys who were passing through who looked like they might like a bit of death-metal. As Debbie said on the way back to the car, I must be some kind of walking stereotype to be so quickly identified as a metal fan. I guess the odds were 50/50 that I'd be into metal, or be some kind of filthy hippy.

Second Draft

I am currently working on a second draft of my Kiwiniwrimo novel. Mostly it's tidying up typoes and adding in a bit more description (the first draft was very dialogue heavy). There are a few minor changes to help with motivation (like making the main character's father recently redundant, allowing her to have cool film-making toys and long-standing plans to go to film school, but no actual cash-money to see her dream come true), and some relationship background to clarify, but I'm hoping it won't take too long, or indeed be too extensive. I haven't heard back from Longacre yet, but the next two places on my list to send the manuscript both require a full manuscript (rather than 3 chapters + synopsis) so I need to get it done before I hear back from Longacre either way (either Longacre will want to take a look at the full manuscript, or I'll be sending it elsewhere). It's nice to have a manuscript which only needs a little tinkering to get it into a shape where I'll be happy to keep sending it off to various publishers. The other novella I wrote several years ago was quite noticeably a first draft, and has never made it to second draft status (I got about half way through redrafting, but it's not especially publish-worthy anyway so my motivation is low). This time I feel it's a much more realistic effort - not an inspired piece of writing necessarily, but at least something written with a clear target audience in mind, and a target market which may suit several NZ publishers (teens/schools). So, redrafting continues. When I'm done (hopefully before the end of next week) I may see if anyone's keen to have a read, give me further feedback.

Some silly pictures I made

And using a tablet, a messier version:

Rome is a great TV show

Debbie and I borrowed Rome from L&S, and watched both seasons in about a week and a half. It's a beautifully shot romp of a TV show that I really, really enjoyed. I am an ignaramus when it comes to Roman history, so there was much suspense in the show for me (moreso than for Debbie), but what made it really stand out was the energetic pace, the excellent acting, and the oddly endearing main characters (the presumably non-historical soldiers Pullo and Verenus). Despite many despicable acts, they were thoroughly awesome main characters and their stories wove through 'history' in a thoroughly engaging way. It was neat. I recommend it (if violence and full frontal nudity don't offend you - it is an R16). We also watched Ghost Rider, which was very, very bland. Unimaginatively structured, with some outright plot holes (or at least plot weaknesses), it relied too heavily on its special effects, which were at times not that impressive. The tragedy was the amount of money you could see flashing past you in each shot, but the lack of a well thought out story or good action scenes. Sure, you might have some cool fx shot you want to include in an action scene, but it shouldn't be the only thing happening in the scene, to the detriment of believability. I'm glad I waited for the DVD to come out, but even then it was only just worth finishing. A film which we started watching but didn't finish was Bandidas, produced by Robert Rodriguez and starring Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz. Despite some big names, it was very bland and unengaging to start with, and by about half an hour in we gave up. Now, I think this film could be a lot of fun if you were playing a drinking game with tequilla - with a drink for every time the bad guys cold-bloodedly gun down a defenceless old man, or the two lead actresses have a cat fight, or they trot out some other Western cliche. Watching this film while hammered may be a lot of fun. Uh. Jonathan Creek is cool to watch (season one - most of which I hadn't seen). Conchords was neat (and they've apparently been picked up for a second season!). Dresden Files looks like it's going to be cool too. I like watching TV shows (especially on DVD, when you can binge).

This term is trying to kill me

I have but one day remaining of teaching this term (and about 3 days of marking, and one day of moving my stuff out of my former office into... a nearby space... which is much less nice?). It is one day too many. Actually, it is a day during which I'm only teaching half my classes, so there's really no grounds for my complaining other than an acute tiredness that hit me at about 5pm, and has intensified since, save for a slight rise in energy after eating dinner. Exciting evening plans? Shower, sleep, maybe some marking, more sleep, watch an episode of the Dresden Files... Oh, that reminds me, I wanted to comment on some stuff I'd watched lately. Time for a separate post!

Bloody funny columns

From the Guardian: Columns by Charlie Brooker, ripping the piss out of TV shows. Most amusing (though somewhat profane). An excerpt (about Jamie Oliver):

I didn't make up my mind until I caught wind of the outpouring of middle-class smug-o-wank surrounding his School Dinners series, which gave despicable 4x4-driving parents something to feel all superior about: they could tut at the McNugget-wolfing pauper kids while simultaneously shovelling chargrilled asparagus and parmesan shavings down their own spoilt shitbag childrens' throats.

 

13 Year Old Boy Talks About High School Musical

"Why couldn't they have a rampaging shooter at their high school?"

Ridiculous things to say out loud to oneself

Number 23: "Maybe if I rock out, it will help?" Not a bad thing to say in and of itself, but in relation to getting through some slightly tedious marking? Pretty ridiculous. Especially when 'rock out' just means 'go get my ipod and listen to music'. I silly.

No Strike This Week

The Ministry negotiators have made sufficient improvements to the original 3 year offer for negotiations to continue without a strike. I don't know that the offer is good enough to be accepted outright, but it's enough of a step in the right direction for the PPTA to call of this week's industrial action.

I draw and colour.

Starting to get to grips with photoshop a leetle. Muchos learning still to do. I did some stuff in Corel Photopaint (version 8, from about 2000?) just because I know how to do stuff zippy-fast in that program. But one day I will be just as zippy-fast with photoshop, only with many more options available.

*resolves to learn more about photoshop*



A quick sketch I did yesterday of a future-paparazi guy.

Moviefest finals

From the moviefest forums:

Thanks to those of you who sent in your creations, it was fun watching them all and it has been noticable that the standard of filmaking is improving. To those who have made it into the finals, congratulations. We are now in the process of putting the final touches into the arrangements for the Screenings and the Awards Ceremony which will take place in the Genesis Theatre in Upper Hutt on Saturday, 27th October. This theatre is part of Upper Hutts Civic Centre and has around 200 tiered seats. We will be screening the top twenty movies plus the three winners from last year during the day and the Awards Ceremony will start later in the afternoon. There will be some interesting presentations during the ceremony and it will follow much the same format as last years. As the details for this are all finalised, we will post them on these forums as well as emailing all the entrants for this years competition.

 

Moviefest National Finalists = Jenni's Angels

We have made the national finals again in the hobbyist category of Moviefest.

Moviefest National Finalists = Jenni's Angels

We got into the finals. Yay! There were no regional heats this year, just a selection of 3 finalists in each category from the national pool. So we did well to get in. Roll on national level judging and awards!

Resourcing not spin

Thursday, 30 August 2007, 1:31 pm Press Release: PPTA Resourcing not spin More resourcing for secondary teachers and less spin from the Ministry of Education will go along way towards settling the Secondary Teachers’ Collective Agreement, PPTA president Robin Duff said today. Its first piece of spin was to suggest teachers have had pay increases of 30% since 2000. Pay increases have been between 19.7 and 21.9%, roughly the rate of inflation. “The 30% is a false figure based on total average earnings* that the Ministry will not use during bargaining so why is it using that figure in the public?” “The second piece of spin is to use 2000 as a baseline for teacher salaries when an alternative disputes resolution panel found in 2002 that teachers had been grossly underpaid. That panel awarded teachers a salary catch up 12% well in excess of the government’s offer of 3%. “A Ministerial Taskforce in 2003 said that teacher salaries should keep pace with other workers. “PPTA’s claim is simply a catch up and maintains salary rates against inflation and other wage and salary earners, as suggested by the Ministerial Taskforce. “It’s not just about pay though. It’s about improving conditions to attract and retain the very best teachers, reducing class sizes so that every student has adequate time with their teacher, encouraging more people into senior and middle management roles and supporting the part-timers in our schools. “The claim moves towards restoring some of the recruitment and retention gains made by the arbitrated ADR settlement in 2003 but will not meet the recruitment demands of the current employment market for skilled graduates and trades people. “It is a very reasonable and very fair claim. It does not include compensation for the more demanding work for classroom teachers generated by the introduction of the NCEA and other government initiatives, or for the failure of the government and the ministry to address the problems of secondary teacher workload identified by the ACER report (2004). “The disingenuous comments made by the Ministry today will simply have got teachers backs up.” ENDS * Basically this includes teachers who have gained extra qualifications, thus moving up the pay scale, and teachers who take on extra responsibilities and thus receive management units and allowances. The number of MU's etc have increased, but this doesn't help the pay rate of the average classroom teacher.

Moviefest Me

Looking forward to hearing how the film goes, and being able to share it on Youtube. I think it's the tenth short film Debbie and I have been involved with in the past two and a half years?

Wonderful Library (48 Hours 2005)
Monster Hunter IV (48 Hours 2006)
Life Lesson 12 (Moviefest 2006)
Teach Him A Lesson (Moviefest 2006)
With Mighty Power (Moviefest 2006)
Ephemeral
Missing
Behind the Reality (Practice film for 48 Hours 2007)
To Miss With Love (48 Hours 2007)
Princess Consuela (Moviefest 2007)

Very Quick Movie Review

Code 46, starring Tim Robbins. Balls.

Weekends are teh best

Ah, the delightfulness that is a weekend. I managed to sleep in until 6.45am, sloth about in bed until 7.45, then get up and go for a slow, short jog. OK, not as sedentary a start to a weekend as I might have preferred (I do like my sleep-ins to be longer than a regular working day), but it feels good to have got up and got some fresh air, and there are many hours of day to enjoy. There is no school ball this weekend. No filming needs to be done for any competitions. There is no writing challenge on at the moment. No meetings for Kapcon. It's a pleasantly quiet weekend, with just 80 or 90 tests and stories to mark. The quiet life :) I have been enjoying the discussion around women in gaming that's been happening on the internets this week. I particularly enjoy the perspective provided by the fact that my all-boy teen gaming squad was pretty maladjusted and wouldn't have been female friendly as it existed (this was never tested, so I am left only to speculate about how our behaviour might have changed if it hadn't been a boys club), but as I've grown up I've managed to become a less prejudiced and socially awkward person. My recent gaming experiences have been both balanced in terms of gender and conduct. Having been a stupid teenage boy (not by any means the worst of my breed, but in retrospect pretty spazzy at times) means I have a first-hand awareness of just how dumb and self-important teenboys can be. And that there is hope for them to change. I remember the black-and-white clarity of teenboy-logic which saw any positive prejudice (like grants and scholarships etc.) as wildly unfair, which thought the idea of a women's room was a weird and unnecessary one (though a parents' room would be fine), and which viewed with disdain the notion of 'womens' studies'. Fourteen was probably the ugliest age for these sentiments in myself and my peer group. They didn't last, thankfully. Nor did the odd moral certitude I had at the time that killing people who were bullying you would be justifiable, but inadvisable due to the likely consequences. Seriously - I remember asking myself whether it was right, and whether it was practical, and fell short of murder on the practicality front (and, of course, on the actually being violent front. I may have had intellectually reprehensible morals, but my actions as a teenboy were entirely standard, and I found violence in the real world (as opposed to horror movies and conjecture) quite repulsive). So - I was a spazz when I was a teenager (not the whole time, but I can clearly remember moments of stupidity), but I like to think I'm relatively well adjusted now. This means I can look back and see where I've come from, and have hope that even quite offensive or highly prejudiced people can change, if their brains and morals develop. I think that development in my case was part of growing up, so it might be harder to arrange in an older person, but is still (I hope) possible. NOTE: Yes, I am saying that my morals are better than those of other people. This is just my opinion and agenda, but it's one that is largely promoted (or at least given lip service) in NZ: racism/sexism = bad, social engineering to break poverty cycles/encourage equality = good

Movie Done

Moviefest 2007 movie all finished - now I just have to sort out getting it in the post tomorrow :) I'm quite happy with how it's turned out: 5 minutes of very silly material about a deceased princess, with some fun performances and a fast pace. Quite a good result relative to the amount of work it took to put it together. One more day to the weekend!

Movie Done

Moviefest 2007 movie all finished - now I just have to sort out getting it in the post tomorrow :) I'm quite happy with how it's turned out: 5 minutes of very silly material about a deceased princess, with some fun performances and a fast pace. Quite a good result relative to the amount of work it took to put it together. One more day to the weekend!

Baby's First Bookcase

So we now have a nursery room more or less set up - with the first piece of furniture we paid for having finally arrived. We've got a tall bookshelf, a 6 drawer chest-of-drawers, and a cot all set up. The chest o drawers doesn't quite match the bookshelf yet - one is white with blue, the other white with yellow - but once it's swapped over in September all will be well. It's quite exciting, really. As is the fact that, all going well, we'll be parents by the end of the year. In other news, I'm putting together an application this weekend for an HOD job at my school. I'm by no means the front-runner, but one only gets the opportunity to apply for these jobs once in a while, and it may be ten or more years before the position comes up again, so I should really apply now to show I'm interested, if nothing else. The current HOD told me I should apply during our appraisal meeting, so that was a nice encouragement. Other things - dinner is almost ready. That's good. We plan to do a bit more Moviefest filming this weekend, which should also be good. I have a huge pile of marking to do. Not so good. Lastly, I just finished reading 'A Clockwork Orange' (mostly whilst walking to and from school), and I have to say it's a very good book, and one which quite thoroughly ear-wormed me for a while after I finished it. The nadsat (teenage) slang is quite something, and reminded me of first year Russian back at uni... "And so it would itty on to like the end of the world, round and round and round, like some bolshy gigantic like chelloveck, like old Bog Himself (by courtesy of Korova Milkbar) turning and turning and turning a vonny grahzny orange in his gigantic rookers.